Whether people admit it or not, they compare themselves with others–colleagues, friends, siblings, neighbors next door. It’s a very dangerous practice but that doesn’t keep us from doing it. However, we can’t be too hard on ourselves about it because it has been sown into the design of our culture for generations.
How did you know if you did exceptionally well on a paper that you put a lot of effort into? You looked to see what letter grade everyone else got–especially the students who typically received average grades or excellent grades. It’s ‘comparison’. What about that first week back from summer vacation when each student went up to the front of the class to share how they spent their time off? Whoever went to Disney World or the Grand Canyon were considered the ones with the best summer experience. And never mind the kids that got to go to Europe. Game over. Comparison has been a part of our lives before we could even recognize it.
Comparison continues as it spills over into adulthood, bringing attention to work titles, number of cars, size of houses, type of neighborhoods, number of children, extravagance of vacations, and it goes on. And social media doesn’t help the situation, but rather exacerbates it.
Comparison can lead to stress, anxiety, depression and shape an unfavorable perception of one’s self-worth. So how do we stop this? Let’s dive into some scriptures that will give guidance, affirmation and truth to combat this unhealthy practice, and for some, mentally destructive habit.
Feel free to break this up into two or more quiet time sessions given the time you have.
1. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Galatians 6:4
Q – What does this scripture imply is the best method to assess your own life as an alternative to comparison?
Q – Why do you think this direction was given? i.e. What are the benefits?
Q – What do you think the following statement means? “…for each should carry their own load.”
Generally, when making a comparison between two (or more) things, those items should have commonality, i.e. “apples to apples”. Think of the last person/situation you may have compared yourself to.
Q – How did your “load” differ from the other person’s “load”?
Tip – Use this reflection exercise whenever you find yourself caught in a comparison trap.
2. Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:13-16
Envy: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.
Selfish Ambition: the relentless pursuit of power, status, recognition, and wealth for purely egotistical reasons. Prioritizing self-interest above all else. Driven by greed, pride, envy, or insecurity. Focused on personal wants and desires, often at the expense of others.
Q – According to this passage, where does bitter envy and selfish ambition come from?
Q – Where can envy and selfish ambition of the heart lead to? i.e. What will “you find”?
Reflection: In what ways does envy and/or selfish ambition appear in my life? Pray about changing this “disorder” to peaceful order.
3. Read: Acts 8:9-25 about Simon the Sorcerer
Q – Simon looked over at someone receiving a precious and powerful gift and was in awe. Why did Simon the Sorcerer decide he wanted that gift?
Q – What was he willing to do to get that gift?
Q – Did Simon have anything already that was precious and powerful that he may have been overlooking? If yes, what was it?
Q – How was Simon’s actions regarded by the man of God in this account? i.e. His response.
–Take a Moment to Pray-
4. “I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.”” Psalm 16:2
And…
5. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13
Q – What does contentment mean to you?
Q – What does contentment mean to God, using these scriptures 4 and 5 as guidance to inform your answer?
Q – What is the actual secret of being content that Paul talks about?
6. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12:3-8
Q – Why do you think it says “Do no think of yourself more highly than you ought…?”
Q – What do you think you should understand and appreciate about ‘unique abilities’ as it relates to your own and others’ abilities/accomplishments?
Q – What honorable gifts/talents/abilities/functions do you already have that you can recognize, use and appreciate?
7. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Q – What kind of plan does God have for you?
Reflection: Schedule a time this week to define and journal about the 4 descriptions the Bible uses regarding the plans God has for your life.
Prosperous / Not harmful / Hopeful / A Future
Let’s close this out with a beautiful description of you–no one else–just you.
8. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16
Reflection – Rewrite each statement below in your own words. Paraphrase God’s description of you and your life.
—You create my inmost being…
—You knit me together in my mother’s womb…
—I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful…
–I was made in the secret place…
Rise & Shine Bright.