In my humanness, I tend to have a calm presence in the midst of one-on-one conversations, not necessarily in group settings. The pressure of having to read people, to follow social cues and master the art of social etiquette can get a bit taxing. As a child I was socially malnourished. Due to unfortunate circumstances I almost always found it hard to trust someone other than myself. And as a teen I was often the subject of mockery by those closest to me and therefore spent most of my teen years socially isolated and imprisoned by false and damaging thoughts.
The more time I spent alone, the more and more I began to cast myself as the center of attention and the less I came to care about others. I started believing that I could never be loved by anyone, God included. As I got into my late teens, habits such as ignoring others while they were speaking and giving half-hearted answers when asked about my opinion or feelings on a certain topic developed. As one can imagine, the fiery flames of social anxiety grew, as did my appetite for silence.
At the age of 20, God entered the scene and I became a Christian. I expected to be immediately delivered from my social inadequacy, but boy was I wrong. I could go on and on for days with stories of how my feelings of uneasiness in various social climates affected my social intelligence. Such moments included lacking vulnerability and intimacy among my church family, friends and especially in my relationship with God. However, had I never become a Christian, I would have never understood how to recognize social anxiety or how to overcome it.
I learned that Jesus is the perfect one to imitate because all of His relationships exemplify his heart, his vulnerability, his intimacy and especially his depth of love for God the Father, for others and himself. As a Christian, although social anxiety can still be a struggle at times, I have felt more comfortable speaking to crowds more than in my former years.
Practicals and intimate Bible studies on topics you may be struggling with are extremely helpful. Check out my list of practicals below and go here for an example of a Bible study I created to help me work through my heart regarding the topic of social anxiety.
TIPS TO SOCIALIZING WITH GOD-FIDENCE
God-fidence
⁃ The confident trust and reliance on God, especially in challenging situations
⁃ Believing in God’s power and ability to handle things, even when you don’t understand the outcome
⁃ This faith-based confidence is the source of strength and comfort, as it acknowledges that God is ultimately in control and will provide.
1. Do a mini Bible study, by choosing 3 scriptures about what God thinks of you. Journal and pray to God about how they make you feel and make a decision to believe scripture. This exercise should help wipe out any lies, doubts, insecurities or irrational feelings you may believe over God’s Truth.
2. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, it alt+ctrl+deletes awkwardness : )
3. Become a good listener (put those silencing skills to use when appropriate).
4. Give positive feedback to others and whisper positive feedback to yourself.
5. Don’t be afraid to share your life, I’m willing to bet there is at least one thing about you that is interesting.
6. Don’t worry about making ‘mistakes’ or being different. The world is full of carefully calibrated differences; different languages, different everything. Have fun finding your similarities while also enjoying the differences you have with other people.
7. Seek Biblical mentorship; someone who is able to help you apply Jesus’ standard to your life in ways you may not be able to see. Feel free to contact us at info@riseandshinebright.com if you could use some help with this.
8. Set up a meeting with a trained professional / therapist–someone who is able to help you unpack your past and challenge you to process your thoughts and emotions in a healthy way.
Through the power of the scriptures and Jesus’ example, you will be able to overcome social anxiety and experience victories socializing with God-fidence!
Rise and shine bright.
There are varying degrees of social anxiety. If you should suspect you have Social Anxiety Disorder, a mental health professional will be able to provide information.
-Mental Health Definition-
Social Anxiety Disorder
⁃ A chronic mental health condition in which social interactions cause irrational anxiety.
⁃ For people with social anxiety disorder, everyday social interactions cause irrational anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, and embarrassment.
⁃ Symptoms may include excess fear of situations in which one may be judged, worry about embarrassment or humiliation, or concern about offending someone.
Rise & Shine Bright Disclaimer:
We are not licensed mental health professionals. Our content is based on biblical principles and is meant for spiritual guidance, encouragement, and potential breakthroughs. For professional mental health services, we encourage seeking a licensed clinician coupled with counseling with a trusted spiritual advisor.