They’re super friendly with others but not quite with you. They subtly roll their eyes or look away when you’re giving a presentation. They seem passive aggressive in their email replies. They often have a rebuttal when you share an idea. They don’t comment on your chats in Teams, Slack or group emails.
When someone is showing signs that they don’t like you, it can be hurtful. This can be especially difficult to handle and process for neurodivergent women who have been rejected a lot in life, and many times for unwarranted reasons. A common go-to response can be to ask ourselves: “Well, what did I do? How did I offend them? What did I say?” We immediately internalize the conflict.
But if you’re noticing that someone is not feeling you and without a concrete reason, there are 3 healthy confidence-boosting methods I’ll share with you so you can handle someone who is being unkind to you at work.
1. Identify the Real Problem
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12
The real problem is, you have an enemy–and it’s not your colleague.
Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil.
When we don’t recognize that we have a spiritual enemy, we can continue to internalize every awkward, unpleasant, and even hurtful act of rejection as though it was all our fault.
When you know that opposition is from the enemy, you’re able to understand that it’s not about your character, your neurodivergent tendencies, or you as a person.
Don’t fall for it. It’s a trick.
Action Item:
Be aware of the discouragement plan that is being played out through this person or people who are treating you poorly.
2. Love Them
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies…” Matthew 5:43a
The second method is one of the most powerful methods. It is to: love them.
When we listen to God’s instruction to love that person, it is called obedience. And when we do the right thing, even when we don’t want to, we get to walk in confidence that our God—our Father, our Lord is with us.
One of the ways to love someone at work is to serve them. When there are opportunities to do something or offer something that may make their time at work a little easier, be that bit of sunshine that they may need and do the thing.
Jesus tells us to love them.
Action Item:
Consider what loving this person looks like for you in the dynamic you’re dealing with. Be sure to consider healthy boundaries and not put yourself in unnecessary awkward situations.
3. Pray for Them
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven…” Matthew 5:43-45
The last method to handle someone at work who doesn’t seem to like you is to pray for them.
Matthew 5:43 continues, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
If someone is being antagonistic towards you at work, you are in a battle and there are two weapons that mass destruct insecurity in your situation: the Word of God and prayer.
When you pray for someone who opposes you, you’re putting the situation in God’s hands. And that gives you the ability to walk confidently, as an obedient child of God.
You can walk into that office, walk into that meeting, enter that group chat secure and shining bright!
Action Item:
Pray for that person. Pray for their heart, the relationship, and pray for them to draw near to God.
The 3 Methods:
- Identify the real problem and resist falling into the trap of self-examination and self-condemnation
- Love them by serving them while maintaining healthy boundaries
- Go into warfare in prayer and put the situation in God’s hands
You are not facing this challenge alone. Rise and shine bright!
Let’s connect!
If you’re dealing with someone at work who doesn’t seem to like you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What part of this was helpful to you? Have you experienced something similar at work?
Share your thoughts below. That’s how we all can connect on our neurodivergent experiences.