There’s one thing for sure that everyone, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, everyone has experienced rejection. It’s embedded in this thing called life. It’s inevitable. Not everyone is going to like what you do, say, look like, or act, and people have their own issues as well.
For neurodivergent people, a common experience is that rejection has been very evident and persistent since a young age. Maybe you’ve always felt different from others because of social challenges, being quiet, being rambunctious, interrupting people, not understanding a joke right away and taking what was said literally, or having a quirky sense of humor.
Others may have pointed out your differences or made comments that didn’t encourage your uniqueness—“that was dumb,” “stop doing that, it’s annoying,” “use your brain,” “so and so does it, why can’t you,” or the dreaded “why can’t you just?”
You may not have had the word for it at the time, but in a nutshell, it’s rejection.
And what does rejection do over time? It can cause insecurity. It can cause you to second guess yourself, think you’re an imposter, cause you to mask, think you’re inadequate, or think people don’t like you. Insecurity can impact your thought-life, your relationships, and even your work.
Here are three things to keep in your back pocket as you navigate rejection and insecurity at work, on your healing journey.
1. If God Is for You, Who Can Be Against You?
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31
Maybe the tone of your co-workers’ email didn’t quite land right with you when you read it. Maybe your manager gave you feedback about a project that only mentioned what was wrong but not what was good, or didn’t help you try to get it right. Maybe after you shared your idea in that meeting, it was dismissed or ignored.
In the workplace, not always but at times, it could feel like people aren’t on your side, like they’re rejecting you. It might be true, it might not be true.
Either way, the fact is, if God is for you, who can be against you?
Think about having God as your crew of two, you and Him, and He’s the leader of the crew. When God is supporting you, no one will succeed against you. It doesn’t matter if people talk, if you feel judged, if you feel overlooked, etc. There isn’t a power greater in the workplace than your God, and He already claimed that He is for you and defends you.
Action Item
Look up 1 key scripture that shows you God’s heart to defend you—the power of God over any human being. If you need help, Psalm 18 is a great one!
2. Your Past Rejection Can Be Turned Around for Good
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20
Rejection in your past can be turned out for good for your present and future. You can use what was intended for your harm for good!
Have you ever heard a story of how someone was rejected by a parent, a spouse, or a boss? And later on, that thing that they suffered, were teased about, or made to feel shameful of was the very thing that ended up being worked out for their good, and for the good of others.
Think about men who didn’t grow up with their father and later in life, when they became a dad, they were adamant about being there for their sons and daughters. They ended up being phenomenal fathers to young people who would later be great contributors to this world.
This passage, Genesis 50:20, comes from the story of Joseph, who was severely rejected by his brothers. They tried to kill him and decided to sell him instead.
Years later, he’s in a highly influential position. Had all of what Joseph went through not happened, he would not be in a position where he’s helping to save people’s lives in a famine, including his brothers’ lives.
What was intended to harm you that God intended for good to accomplish what is now being done?
Action Item
Consider the thing that you were rejected about in your past or even now. Ask yourself, how has that rejection turned into being something purposeful?
Or, if it’s not obvious just yet, how would you like to see it worked out for your good and the good of others?
3. God Made You Mysteriously Complex and Marvelously Breathtaking
“You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking.” — Psalm 139:13–14 TPT
When I really examined and meditated on this passage about what God says about me, what God says about you, I saw myself differently. Each repetitive time I recited it out loud, it became more real to not just my mind, but my heart.
I was able to see how God values me, and it helped me see myself with clearer eyes, valuing myself more biblically.
That’s what can happen when we discover more about ourselves.
One day I was watching a podcast on YouTube of this well-known speaker and thought leader, and she was describing her late-diagnosed ADHD experience—how she thinks, works, responds to time, etc. She was literally describing my life to a T. I started to ball my eyes out because I finally felt seen and understood.
I did some research, made an appointment for testing, and the rest is history.
The more I learned about my brain, the more loving and compassionate I was towards myself. I was able to identify the qualities of my brain and found ways to not work against it unknowingly, but rather to work with how I was designed.
I was able to no longer only focus on my weaknesses, like trouble self-starting, but was able to appreciate the strengths such as being able to hyper-focus on something I’m committed to, and my creativity.
I see God’s intentionality in how He has shaped me. I see that when I read Psalm 139 in the context of brain functionality, and I hope you see it for you as well.
Have you seen yourself as marvelously breathtaking?
Complex can have a negative connotation, being equivalent to too much. Have you ever heard that—“you’re just too much”? Do you know according to God, you are just right?
Mysteriously complex means beautifully unique and no way average, standard, or basic.
There are some challenges that come with ADHD, ASD, AuDHD, OCD, Dyslexia, etc. But we can tend to focus more on the setbacks rather than the setups for achievements. Keep this in your back pocket for encouragement.
God doesn’t see a lack of value or see unworthiness, and we shouldn’t either. He sees you as a marvelously intricate and complex woman, and from the original, a fearfully and wonderfully made you!
Action Item
Think of (1) positive attribute about your neurodivergent brain or your neurodivergent experience and actually acknowledge it.
Ask yourself: In what way is that thing about me mysteriously complex or marvelously breathtaking?
Then play up on it. Do a little research on how you can maximize that quality at work. And do more of it!
Maybe for you it’s your creativity—maybe in drawing, writing, or creating music. Maybe it’s hyperfocus. Set aside some dedicated time to do more of that for things that will make a meaningful impact.
Takeaways
Rejection is a part of life, but rejection doesn’t have to have the final say in how you see yourself.
- If God is for you, who can be against you?
- That past rejection that was meant to harm you, trying to create an insecurity, make you feel less than, has and will be turned around for your good.
- And God made you mysteriously complex and marvelously breathtaking. Allow yourself to be amazed by that.
So when you perceive, anticipate, or fear rejection, and negative thoughts or bouts of feeling low start to happen, keep these truths in your back pocket when you need them.
All Action Items
- Look up (1) key scripture that shows you God’s heart to defend you. Psalm 18 is a great place to start
- Consider the thing that you were rejected about in your past or even now. Ask yourself how that rejection has turned into something purposeful—or how you would like to see it worked out for your good and the good of others
- Think of (1) positive attribute about your neurodivergent brain or experience. Ask yourself, In what way is that thing mysteriously complex and/or marvelously breathtaking? Then play up on it and find ways to maximize that quality at work
You’re awesome, and we need to hear that sometimes and remind ourselves of that—especially when rejection and insecurity start to creep in. Rise and shine bright <3