For neurodivergent women, rejection sensitivity can be a difficult experience. But what if overcoming rejection sensitivity involves more than understanding how your brain works? What if it’s also about where you go to satisfy your desire for acceptance?
Let’s look at the Bible for passages that can help us navigate rejection sensitivity and find our satisfaction in Jesus.
1. God May Be Blocking You From Finding Satisfaction in Others
Let’s look at Amos 4:4–7. In this passage, God addresses the Israelites and their failure to return to Him. They were experiencing hunger and a lack of rain, but they weren’t turning back to God.
“I gave you empty stomachs in every city and lack of bread in every town, yet you have not returned to me, declares the Lord.” Amos 4:6
When I look at this passage, I see what kind of God created us. A jealous God. One who longs for our heart. He wants us to come to Him to get our desires and needs met. And this includes our desire and need to feel and know that we are accepted.
When we pursue people to address that desire or need, we can find ourselves continually unfulfilled. God could be the very one who is blocking it so we come to our senses and go to him.
The point isn’t that your desire to be accepted is wrong. It’s recognizing that people cannot provide the lasting satisfaction your heart needs. And God wants to be the one who gives you that satisfaction.
2. Jesus Is the Bread We’re Hungry For
Let’s go to John 6:25–35.
Before this moment, Jesus had miraculously fed five thousand people. They had their needs met, and now they were looking for Him for more.
Jesus tells them in John 6:26–27 that they were looking for Him because they had eaten the loaves and had their fill. He then directs their attention toward food that endures to eternal life.
In John 6:29, Jesus says:
“The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” John 6:29
I love that Jesus says this because we can spend so much energy striving after things in this life, but Jesus points us toward Him.
“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” — John 6:35
Jesus Himself is the Bread of Life! He is the One who satisfies what we truly need on a spiritual level.
We will struggle with the craving for acceptance if we continue expecting people to fulfill a need that only Jesus can ultimately satisfy. Whether our rejection sensitivity is influenced by how our brains function, experiences of rejection in the past, or both, we can turn to Jesus for our encouragement, security, and spiritual fulfillment.
3. Delight in the Lord
Psalm 37:4 says:
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” — Psalm 37:4, NLT
So how do we delight in the Lord?
“When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty.” Jeremiah 15:16
Delighting in Jesus can mean appreciating Him and acknowledging what an honor it is to be loved by Him. It can mean going into nature and thinking about Him while enjoying the surroundings He created.
But an undeniable, major part of delighting in Jesus is delighting in His Word. In the Word, you’re enjoying His presence, what He’s saying to you, and the assurance He can give you through the Bible, etc.
And next thing you know, that desire in your heart to be accepted by others can begin turning into a desire to spend more time in the presence of Jesus and glorify Him with your life.
Action Items:3 Ways to Turn to Jesus When Rejection Sensitivity Shows Up
Here are three practical action items to help you delight in the Lord when you’re craving acceptance, approval, or validation.
1. Carve out quality time with Jesus first thing in the morning
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:14
Have real breakfast in the Word with Jesus! Before checking your text messages, WhatsApp group chats, Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube, let Jesus fill your heart and mind with His Word.
2. Make declarations with Scripture
Even after a great quiet time with Jesus, you may still experience rejection sensitivity during the day. Maybe it’s a delayed email, an awkward conversation, a facial expression, or someone being unexpectedly cold toward you. When that happens, make Jesus your go-to for assurance and make declarations/speaking scriptures.
If you’d like a few back pocket scriptures to have on hand, here are three you can use when you’re craving to be understood, about to pursue validation, or seeking acceptance:
- “I do not accept glory from human beings…” John 5:41
- “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35
- “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.” Psalm 73:25
But you actually get the scriptures from God himself, especially if you’re feeling too emotional to think of where to go in the Bible.
Get your physical Bible which can help you move your mind off of people and onto God. It’s a practical and physical way to “fix your eyes on Jesus” that could really help you in the moment.
Now, open up your Bible anywhere. Jesus can speak to you in any scripture in the Bible. Ask him to reveal something that you’ve opened to, ask him to show you a scripture, and/or remind you of a scripture that will help you. Try it out!
3. Listen to His words as He reminds you that you are accepted
Literally let the Bible speak to you.
Download the YouVersion Bible app if you don’t already have it on your phone. Look up a fitting Scripture, tap the audio option, and let it read to you, God’s words about you.
Psalm 139:1-18 reminds us that God knows us intimately. When you’re feeling alone, misunderstood, or rejected, take time to listen to what His Word says about His knowledge of you and His presence with you.
You can have a “come to Jesus” moment every single time you’re overwhelmed by rejection sensitivity.
Let’s discuss!
Have you ever found yourself pursuing acceptance or validation from other people, only to discover that it didn’t satisfy you the way you expected? What helps you turn your attention back to Jesus when rejection sensitivity shows up?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you, and I’ll reply to your comments!
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