You’re intelligent, capable, and you’ve accomplished a lot over the years. But there are still days when you feel scattered, overwhelmed, and like you’re falling short. Maybe you’re struggling to focus, procrastinating, running late, or having difficulty keeping up with your responsibilities. And before you know it, you’re beating yourself up about it. I’ve learned that there are ways to approach these challenges in a self-affirming way. Here are three lessons that have helped me move toward greater peace, progress, and less of a mess.
1. Give Yourself Grace and Set Realistic Expectations
Do you sometimes set expectations for yourself based on other people’s strengths, abilities, and capacity? When you struggle to meet those expectations, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed and chastising yourself for your weaknesses.
“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;” Romans 12:3-6a
Romans 12:3–6a reminds us that we are not all built the same. We have different gifts, strengths, and functions. Being sober-minded about ourselves means recognizing both our strengths and weaknesses.
You don’t have to run someone else’s race. You need to run your own and give yourself grace along the way.
That doesn’t mean settling for limiting beliefs or abandoning a growth mindset. It means recognizing where you may need help, adjusting your expectations, and allowing yourself room to grow.
2. Be Intentional About Your Self-Care
Self-care is more powerful than many of us realize. Eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and staying hydrated can make a difference in how well your brain functions throughout the workday.
I’ve learned that being intentional about these practices can positively affect my energy, mood, focus, attention, and mental clarity.
But there’s another important part of self-care that shouldn’t be overlooked: spending quality time with God.
“But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” Luke 5:16
Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus would withdraw to desolate places and pray. Despite everything He had on His plate, He made time to be alone with God.
We can incorporate healthy habits into your lifestyle, but don’t neglect your spiritual nourishment. Make time to care for your spirit, heart, and mind.
3. Use the Human Resources Available to You
Sometimes we get so accustomed to doing things on our own that we don’t consider the resources available to help us.
I’ve learned that trying to tackle everything alone isn’t always the best approach. There are people with knowledge, experience, and practical strategies who can help us navigate our challenges.
Consider resources such as:
- Therapy: Look for a therapist who specializes in the areas you’re struggling with and who is a good fit for you
- Coaching: A knowledgeable coach can help you develop practical strategies for navigating challenges with focus, attention, and productivity
- Body doubling: Working alongside other people, whether virtually or in person, can provide helpful structure and support for getting things done
Seeking guidance from God should always come first. At the same time, God has equipped people with knowledge and expertise that can be helpful to us.
You don’t have to figure everything out by yourself.
Anti-Hot Mess Homework
Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re a mess. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable or that something is wrong with you. Sometimes, you need to adjust your expectations, take better care of yourself, or get the support you need.
You may not have everything together all the time, and that’s okay. The goal is progress, not perfection. Give yourself grace, trust God through the process, and take steps toward becoming better than you were yesterday.
Your Action Items
- Adjust your expectations: Take something off your to-do list or revise your list according to your strengths, abilities, resources, and capacity
- Practice intentional self-care: Choose two things you can incorporate into your routine. One should be spending at least 30 minutes with God each day. The other could be getting more sleep, walking, eating healthier, or drinking more water
- Explore a resource: Identify one resource you haven’t considered yet, such as a therapist, coach, or body doubling group. You can sign up for our next body doubling session – Nov 19 / 10AM – 2PM EST. https://calendly.com/yardley-messeroux/body-double-work-cafe-11-19
And the next time you feel like you’ve messed up, pause and remember that God’s grace is sufficient for you. Think about why you should give yourself grace in that moment and what you can do differently next time.
Let’s Talk!
Accountability can be so helpful when we’re working toward change.
Which of these three lessons resonates with you the most? What is one action item you plan to put into practice?
Share your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!